Mission accomplished! My photos from this year's competition have been uploaded and are now viewable online. You can see them by clicking on the appropriate menu selection in the left column. Enjoy! :-)

As the year draws to a close, I am still thinking of new projects and still trying to perfect old ones. First and foremost, as mentioned in my last article, I am endeavoring to produce a minimum of two postcards for friends and family. My aim is to have the first batch mailed out within the next couple weeks, then to have the next batch ready in time for Christmas. Having an appropriate “seasonal” image will certainly be a challenge, as Japan is the epitome of the secularization of Christian holidays. I also touched on this in my last article so I won’t repeat myself. But let’s just say that last year’s Santa Claus flying over Asakusa, Tokyo, that many of our friends received is probably about as good as it gets.

For the first time in two years, we are gearing up to watch the Grey Cup here in Japan. If you are thinking, ‘Wow! You can get that all they way in Japan?’ well, don’t. We can’t. My dad is going to a lot of trouble recording it for me and mailing me the tape. The owner of the ‘local’ has agreed to air it for us on his giant-screen TV. I guarantee that virtually every Canadian in Yamanashi will descend upon The Vault to watch this thing. Our friend Darren is probably already heartbroken, because his beloved Roughriders got stomped by the B.C. Lions last Sunday. Well, in all fairness, they didn’t get “stomped” as such. Much to their credit, they played a good game, and it came down to Saskatchewan’s kicker Paul McCallum botching an overtime field goal attempt to lose the game 27 to 25. At least some angry fans took out their frustration, much to the dismay of the CFL and the Roughriders Football Club, and dumped an entire truckload of manure on McCallum’s front lawn. The Japanese have an appropriate response to such a thing. They narrow their eyes a bit, tilt their head and say, “Tai-hen, neh.” (Tough luck, huh?)

This means, next week’s big game, played in Ottawa, will be between the B.C. Lions and the Toronto Argonauts. Sure, I wouldn’t have minded another Esks classic against Montreal, but maybe it’s better that I’m saved the stress of having to deal with another heartbreaking loss. There was nothing worse than watching every home game of the season, live from row 6 of the 25-yard line, attend my first (and only) live Grey Cup game hosted in Edmonton, only to see the Eskimos trounced by Montreal. Though they redeemed themselves the next season, clinching the Cup once again after a long hiatus, I’m still bitter about the first one. In any event, I’ve been promised by some of the die-hards that in regards to this year’s Grey Cup game, my dad “had better Fed-ex the package over” and even expressed willingness to help pay for the extra shipping. All in the mean time, we’ll be staying away from the news media (yes, even the local English daily here announces CFL results) as well as requesting family and friends to kindly refrain from calling or e-mailing anything football-related until the following week.

Football is certainly a great game, and I take every advantage to teach it to my students. I start with grade 4 elementary school kids. (Any younger than that and they can’t grip the ball properly). I teach them how to throw, catch, and kick, and they always seem to catch on quickly. I was able to buy an official Junior-NFL Flag-Football sized ball from the local Toys-R-Us, (yes, we have that here but they sell different stuff) which works well in smaller hands. Frankly, I was surprised I could even buy such a thing in Japan, but American football actually has a small, steady underground, almost cult-like following here. Once in a while, the NFL actually exports a couple teams to Tokyo to play an exhibition game, much to the delight of ex-pats nation-wide, and any local footballophiles. There is even a community/university league here, and maybe some day I’ll consider playing in it. One of my co-workers at the school board is involved in it too. I figure that what I lack in physical stature will make me an even match for many of the Japanese players. There are very few 300lb-plus linebackers stomping around these parts, thankfully. My co-worker is also not exactly your model image of a football player, though he has played it for many years. I think to buy some pads and semi-decent gear would still be cheaper than taking up golf here. The only down-side to it all, is that everything in Japan, including football, is centred around the U.S. so we end up teaching (and using) only NFL rules, equipment, etc. I do, however, get a kick (pun not intended) out of answering the common questions (from Americans and Japanese alike): “So, what’s the difference between NFL and CFL anyway?” And my response, “Our balls are bigger.” That, and we use a larger playing field (longer and wider), have larger end zones, 12 instead of 11 players on the field, and NO pansy “fair-catch” rule. Though, the receiving player gets a 5 yard buffer zone until the ball is caught before he gets creamed (unless it’s during a kickoff). Also, there’s only 20 seconds on the play clock before a penalty is called. Those are the major differences, anyway.

Enough about football, already! I could go on talking about it for a long time, but for everyone’s sanity I will refrain. If anything, I should talk about sumo – a sport that I’ve really gotten to appreciate since moving to Japan. It’s the last tournament of the season, and we’re all anxious to see if Mongolian yokozuna Asashoryu can pull off a victory that eluded him in September’s match. When I first saw sumo, I was convinced that it was, as many North Americans have aptly put it, fat men in diapers pushing each other. Since that initial assertion, however, I’ve had the great enjoyment of learning about the sport’s history, intrigues and subtleties. When I first discovered that the TV station actually broadcasts the tournament live, with English announcers, I was thrilled. That initial enthusiasm, however, rapidly waned when I realized that the only thing that made the broadcast “English” as such was the sentence structure. Certainly no attempt was made to translate the vocabulary. But now, having learned much of it, I’m glad they haven’t. You can say something using one Japanese word that would take an entire phrase to describe in English, because no equivalent term exists for it.

Just to give you an idea of what kind of nonsense an “English” sumo commentator spews, imagine something that sounds like this. Here is my impression of what a typical fight sounds like in any given tournament:

Announcer 1: Well, today we see veteran Chiyotaikai square off against newcomer Kokkai. Chiyotaikai’s definitely been a much stronger rikishi this basho, which we can only assume is because he’s been working on his tachiai.

Announcer 2: That’s right. Chiyotaikai’s prefers an oshidashi win that Kokkai may have a tough time answering. Though he may be a newcomer to Makuuchi, Kokkai sits solidly at Maegashira 2 and if he wins any of his next few matches, he is assured of a kachi-koshi.

Announcer 1: “Yes, I’m sure he’d like nothing more than to avoid kakusage when he’s on an upward streak. His last shiroboshi was three nights ago against ozeki Musoyama so both men are definitely looking for a much-needed win tonight.

Announcer 2: “Ok. here we go. Wow, look at Chiyotaikai. His lightening-fast tachiai has seemingly taken Kokkai completely off-guard and Chiyotaikai’s characteristic tsuppari attack has Kokkai backing to the edge of the dohyo.”

Announcer 1: He’s not giving this one up, though, as his hand finds a grip on Chiyotaikiai’s mawashi and what we just saw was a brave harimanage attempt by Kokkai.

Announcer 2: But it looks like it’s over with Chiyotaikai having a firm mawashi grip of his own, forces the pair out past the bales and into the front row. That was really close, but the gyoji IS pointing his gumbai toward Chiyotaikai, and there’s apparently no mono-ii from the shimpan like we have already seen several times today.

Announcer 1: That’s right. It seems that Chiyotaikai IS going to claim this one, as well as the kensho-kin offered in this torikumi.

Announcer 2: Yes, the official call is yoritaoshi, so let’s take another look at that on the replay here in a moment, while we watch Chiyotaikai accepting the traditional kachinanori.

Ok. Did you get that? Good. Because it’s quiz time. 1) Who won the match? 2) How did he win? 3) Did you understand any of what the heck was going on? No? Well, don’t feel too bad; it took me a while too. But I hardly exaggerate when I say that this is actually what it sounds like on TV when you are listening to sumo IN ENGLISH… Complete nonsensical gibberish! For a long time, I had to sit in front of the TV with a Sumo – English dictionary in my hand just to understand the silly thing… But once you get into it, it’s highly entertaining. If any of you ever come to visit us in Japan, try to come during a sumo tournament. I’d be glad to go with you and help decrypt some of the complexities. Like any sport, it’s a TON more enjoyable when you understand the basic rules, players and procedures.

I think I’ll call it quits for now, and work on my promise of posting some of those pictures that I submitted for the last photo contest. I’m just going to leave you with a brief glossary of the sumo terms used above – (in case you are REALLY curious as to what actually happened in that mock match-up I described between two REAL (and talented) sumo wrestlers). Maybe some day you will run into a bona-fide sumo aficionado and you can impress the socks off him when you ask him about his favorite rikishi and kimarite and how his tachiai has been during the last basho.

rikishi – a sumo wrestler

basho – a tournament (usually lasting 14 days). There are normally 6 major ones each year.

tachiai – a wrestler’s initial charge from the line in the sumo ring

oshidashi – one of the 82 legal winning techniques used in sumo. In this move, the wrestler pushes the other out of the sumo ring without touching his belt.

Makuuchi – the top division in sumo wrestling. Kind of like “Division 1” in pro-soccer.

Maegashira – one of the ranks in the Makuuchi division

kachi-koshi – having won at least 7 of 15 bouts during a tournament

kakusage – a demotion in rank resulting from make-koshi, or losing at least 7 of 15 bouts

shiroboshi – a win (characterized by a white star or circle next to the wrestler’s name when it appears on official result sheets – called a hoshitorihyo)

ozeki – the second highest rank in Makuuchi division. The top rank is Yokozuna.

tsuppari – a strong slapping or thrusting attack where the wrestler uses both arms in rapid, machine-gun-fire succession to push or slap his opponent’s face or body, forcing him backwards

dohyo – the sumo arena. It is a 30-ton sold clay platform, that measures 540cm x 540cm, in the middle of which is a circular ring, whose edge is demarked by low, round, rice-straw bales. All this gets really complex too, as the various parts of the dohyo each have their own specific Japanese names.

mawashi – the sumo’s belt. (Sometimes called a diaper or thong by those who aren’t knowledgeable of sumo). Consists of a horizontal portion that wraps around the wrestler’s waist, and a vertical portion that cover’s his private bits. Gripping the mawashi is only allowed on the horizontal portion. Any grip on the vertical part of the mawashi results in automatic disqualification.

harimanage – one of the possible wining techniques, often used as a last-ditch effort at the edge of the dohyo. The attacker will reach over his opponent, grab his mawashi and in a twisting motion try to launch him past himself. It’s usually a sacrifice move.

gyoji – a sumo referee. He is the guy in the ring dressed in a fancy-looking kimono and holding a gumbai.

gumbai – war paddle (sometimes called a fan). It’s handmade, wooden, and exhibits amazing craftsmanship. They are often many generations old. It is used to indicate the winner of the bout by pointing it in his direction. Prize money is handed to the winner on the gumbai as well.

shimpan – a consortium of eight officials dressed in black kimonos, positioned all around the outside of the dohyo. They watch the match and in the case of a close call, may elect to hold a meeting (this is done when an official raises his arm. It’s called: mono-ii). This results in one of three possibilities: 1) upholding the referee’s original call, 2) overturning it, 3) calling for a re-match to be held immediately.

kensho-kin – prize money put up by supporters paid after certain bouts to the winner of the match. The money is presented in ceremonial envelopes known as kachinanori.

torikumi – a single bout

yoritaoshi – a frontal push-out winning move where the winning wrestler has a grip on his opponent’s belt for the duration of the win, but the force is enough to cause both wrestlers to leave the ring with the winner landing on top of his opponent.

kimarite – the name given to the set of 82 official winning techniques used in sumo wresting.

Good grief! It's hard to believe that the last Blog entry was in July! In fact, I had to reload the page a couple of times just to be sure. So, I'll warn you right now... This is gonna be a long one!

Time flies here in Japan. It's almost unbelievable to me that we will have been here two years... We miss our family and friends, but we're also still enjoying it here too. Hey, if anyone is unsure of where to take that next vacation -- you're always welcome here! At the very least, you'd have a place to stay and someone to give you the dime-tour.

Well, I may as well start with a quick summary of goings-on since July. It's been a whirlwind summer and now even autumn's almost gone. With Halloween dead and gone, all the tacky, cheezy Christmas decorations have gone on sale in virtually every store in Japan. Funny thing is, if you ask anyone whether they're going to give or receive gifts for Christmas, the answer is usually "no." Even more bizarre, is the fact that if you ever thought that the "reason for the season" has been lost in North America, in a over-commercialized, torrential frenzy, try dealing with it in a country where the "reason" for Christmas never existed in the first place! As a result, anything even remotely resembling a Christian message is strangely absent, leaving behind a trail of secular-looking Christmas trees, Santa Clauses, and Christmas carols dealing with snowmen and reindeer. You want to put plastic figurines of the aforementioned on your front stoop with some outdoor lights? No problem! Just drive down to your nearest hardware store. You want a Nativity scene with that? Ha! Ha! What's that?! What does that have to do with Christmas?

Anyway, on to other business. Late July and most of August was quite a learning experience for me. No. Really. I meant that literally. I enrolled in a month-long intensive Japanese course in Okazaki City, Aichi Prefecture. I won't get into the details or anything, but for an entire month, I lived in a traditional-style Japanese "ryokan" or inn, eating Japanese meals, and attending language classes for several hours a day, taught almost entirely in... you guessed it... Japanese. So, am I fluent yet? Nope, but I'm doing better than before. I can use and conjugate verbs now! Woohoo! I also got to satisfy my surfing and body boarding habits, as one of Japan's top surfing beaches was only about 1.5 hours away by car, so I made it a point to go out every day/weekend that I wasn't overloaded by homework, and there wasn't a typhoon blowing through. I must admit though, the waves you can catch right after the typhoon are gnarly! Bonnie went to visit me for a week, and if we ever talk in person or on the phone, ask us about Bonnie's departure day from Okazaki. It's a tale and a half! While she was there, we took a couple of trips to Nagoya and even took in a J-League Division 1 game! My first ever! (That's soccer for those of you who don't speak the lingo).

A day after my course ended, I loaded up the van with all my junk (including my scooter, which I took with me....) and headed further south to the fabled city of Kyoto. Japan's Mecca. The must-visit spot on the itinerary of anyone coming to Japan for longer than a few days. Funny. How is it then, that it took me over a year and a half to get there? Perhaps the distance from Kofu? Much more likely, the price factor. Anyway, my main reason to go to Kyoto, not even so much for the sightseeing value (which I enjoyed immensely), but to put "shaken" (pronounced: SHAH-ken) on my car. Japan, like many countries, requires you to perform a mandatory bi-annual safety and mechanical inspection on any motor vehicle with an engine larger than 50cc (making most scooters exempt! Woohoo!) The bad news is, average "shaken" cost is over 100,000 yen!!! I'll let you do the math into your own currency, but to give you an idea of what that's actually WORTH, an average English teacher in a privately-owned language academy earns about 250,000 gross per month. In other words, imagine just over 40% of your month's salary going to a single vehicle inspection! It's no wonder the Japanese dread it so much and would do anything to make it cheaper or get out of having to pay it. It's not unusual for people in Japan to GIVE-AWAY a car for FREE, rather than paying for shaken (and any repairs that need to be performed at that time) on an old vehicle. That's probably why you don't see that many older-looking vehicles on the road. To get "shaken" on an old car: 100,000. To bring it to an auto-wrecking yard to get it crushed: 10,000. To give it away and not worry about it any longer: 0. You do the math.

Well, in a nutshell, the place I found in Kyoto advertises on the Internet that they offer "cheap shaken" service. So I figured that, since I was in a nearby region of Japan at that time anyway, I may as well get it done there. Smart move! I only had to pay 80,000 yen. Still WAY too much, and it blew our budget for months, but it's done, and we have a vehicle to ride in until August, 2006 at least.

September started a new school term, which also meant a new co-worker, and even a couple new students. Other than that, almost everything else has been going as it had before. I still enjoy my job at the Board of Education, and Bonnie still seems to be enjoying the YMCA. To stay true to my original promise though, that's all I'm going to say about our work.

October was extremely busy! Every weekend was something new. I had planned another trip to Kyoto, since I found out during the summer that I could drive there in only 4.5 hours on the highway, and the cost wasn't so bad -- especially since finding 2,500 yen/night rooms to stay in. This would be Bonnie's first trip to the city, and we extended an offer to all our friends to drive with us, to help off-set the cost of driving there, parking and highway tolls. In the end, only 1 other person came along through a strange set of circumstances. We had a fantastic time, though Bonnie figured the trip was a bit too long, and was a little scared on the highway. I can't blame her -- the front end of our van is flat, and there's no hood (it's like a bus) so you're seated far forward and can see nothing but road and scenery zipping by you at high speeds. I will try my best to post some photos of our trip soon. That's the next thing on my agenda.

We also went to Tokyo for an English-teaching book exposition, and celebrated another year's Paul Rusch Festival, and Katsunuma Wine Festival. Both events are worth looking forward to. Once again, we sampled our fair share of wines -- I forgot how many, and though it was in pouring rain, we were undeterred. A friend who came with us called me the next day and asked me how he got home, as he didn't remember getting there. I reminded him that he took his bicycle, but didn't look in such bad shape when we saw him off.

Now, it's November 2nd here. It's still November 1st in North America, so we are all waiting anxiously here for tomorrow's American election. We've already organized an election party so we can watch the results come up live, and either celebrate Kerry's win or mourn Bush's loss. I'm not America, and I normally wouldn't burden anyone with my political views on this Blog, but hey, my hopes in who will win this thing is no secret. I can pretty much assure you that all the American ex-pats (that we hang out with here in Kofu, anyway) don't have many kind words to offer about G.W. Bush. The only Busch we want to see is in a frosty mug. Heh. Heh.. Whew! Tough crowd!... I bet you didn't even smirk when you read that.

I also recently submitted a new batch of photos to the Japan Times 2nd Annual Photo Competition. I will try to get those pictures posted soon as well. In any event, some of you may know that even though I didn't place in that particular competition last year, one of the photos (Dried Persimmons) did well in another competition, and is being published into a coffee-table book with some other photos (you could probably describe it as an anthology). So, wish me luck.

I'm also working on a new batch of postcards. If you haven't yet given me your mailing address, it's never too late if you want to receive an occasional photo from us in Japan. I hope to send out 3 more this year. I want to send one very soon, one for Christmas, and one for the New Year. Yeah, I'm being ambitions - but I'm going to try.

With that, a big "shaka" sign to everyone. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention in my notes from the summer? I bought a surfboard! I'm now a bona-fide resin monkey! It's a mini-long board (about 7'9) and I already can't wait till Spring so I can practice some more... So, hang loose everyone and don't forget to drop us a line sometime. If you've lost our phone numbers or whatever, e-mail us. We'd love to hear from you.

zadok@zayith.com